The Doctor was typing, and I was passed out on the exam table. I was so sick, so weak, and so exhausted, I could barely answer her questions.
She woke me up pretty quick:
Doctor: "Amanda, you're pregnant"
Me: "...................................... No, I'm not"
Doctor: "Yes, you are, look" (hands me the positive test results)
You could say this was a shock for us. It has been KILLING me to keep this to myself for the past month.
I do strive to live an open and vulnerable life on social media. But with our history of losses, well, have you ever had to "unnannounce" a pregnancy? It's heartbreaking and discouraging and not fun.
So we are officially twelve weeks on Thursday!
Are we scared?
Petrified.
Are we prepared?
No (please excuse me) freaking way. Some days I wonder how I make it through the day with one boy with FPIES - what will I do if I have another with the same or worse?
Then I remember: God is sovereign.
Does it give me comfort and remind me that I'm not alone? YES.
Soooooo you now have the REAL reason why I started P90 recently. I have to take it easy with everything going on, plus, I have been SO sick with this pregnancy that the smallest (quick) movement makes me want to go running to the bathroom.
And seriously - food pictures. Wonder why I haven't posted any recipes lately? I can't STAND to look at pictures of food, food in person, smell food, UGH!! No food!
It has been a very rough first trimester... looking forward to trimester #2 starting this week! :)
The good news: I've done a TON of research and brought my Shakeology in to my Doctor, who approved taking it in the place of prenatal vitamins (as long as I add iron in to my diet). As a result, I've been drinking Shakeology every day, and have only gained three pounds these first three months. When I was prego with my Logan, I had gained at least ten pounds by this point!
Whew, this post is a load off of my shoulders! I can't do secrets anymore! ;)
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| 12 weeks on Thursday! |
- Amanda :)
That is a really cool way to find out you are pregnant! Well, not that you felt like you were dying, but that you at least had a good reason to feel terrible :) What wonderful news! I, too, feel totally unprepared in many ways for baby #4. It seems absurd! I'm "old", my youngest is 5, we got rid of all the baby stuff, how will I homeschool and take care of an infant? Who cares about any of that? Children are a true gift and blessing from the Lord!
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